Thursday, June 01, 2006

Slept fitfully, really should make an effort not to fall asleep listening to music, it's a difficult resolution to stick to, though. Weird dreams, seems that I really do want to be a little girl at least some of time, being hunted by invisible animals, luminous & rustling in their invisibilty, sort of mammalian insects, maybe, through primordial forests of giant ferns.

The contrast between the ecstatic quality of my sensory experience and my always disappointing social life is slowly eating away at the reptile portion of my brain, maybe my heart will stop soon. Tip for people tempted to spend a lot of time alone thinking about things: it tends to destroy your sense of camaraderie with those you feel closest to, everything is always slightly off, palpable distrust floats in the air, not actually situated in either person. The hope that some medium or other will serve to correct this discrepancy seems more empty all the time.

Take this business, for example, it seems to me that it is mostly good for scaring away people who don't know me very well with its obsessive tedium, childish arrogance, arbitrariness passing for wit.

Shit, my watchband finally broke, will be looking at my wrist all day, in all its surprising delicacy.

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