Feel a fucking mess, right eye won't stop twitching, physical frailty always makes me more desperately lonely than usual, ugh, not that I don't have interesting interactions with people, who knows what I expect that's not happening, really, want to feel outside of myself more, maybe, all coiled up in here, ick.

Actually have been having more relaxed, free-flowing conversations with people lately, but this is actually a product of my trying to be more restrained not less, think I mostly want to be making bad semijokes, monkey noises, etc. & don't think anybody's that into that, well, I also enjoy talking about concepts, but that's pretty similar and nobody seems to much like it either.

Disappointed that I won't be here to play show on 7/8, think doing some performance stuff would make me feel less fucked up, more like I'm having fun, would welcome suggestions of other things that might feel like fun.