Went for a walk, didn't help with the panic, but now I have coffee, cash, chills, planning to spend as much of the rest of the day as possible wrapped in a blanket.

Walking got me thinking, thinking made me sad, guy at the counter at the quicky mart asked if I was OK, pathetic, embarrassing, etc. Hurt doesn't stop, mostly less bad than now, at least.

Going to try to read.