Trying to gauge the effects of having felt genuinely happy for a while. It's unusual enough to merit prolonged reflection, soft focus, vivid colors, sense of purpose, all very odd. Back in cruel twilight now, of course, everything sharp edged, puzzling. I think on the whole the change was beneficial, not as beneficial as a permanent one would have been, but still pretty eye opening. Under the right circumstances, I can want some pretty normal things. With the stars back out of alignment, hard to tell what I want, feels pretty normal too, comforting in its own way.

Told T the other day that if acting like yourself drives people off, you want it to. Should get better at following my own advice, it's generally pretty sound.