Being reduced to a piece in a pathological game someone is playing with themselves is pretty disconcerting. Amend that, actually, it's the usual course of business. When you think you're something other than that, it's disconcerting. Should probably work on thinking of myself as anything other than that. Not going to, but maybe I should.
If becoming less sick & dependent is too painful or frightening, maybe going back to being sick & dependent can seem like a return to health. Doesn't make it one, unfortunately.