Listening to 'Hi it's been a long time' a few times to get into appropriately messed up frame of mind for public appearance, had some coffee too, pretty much like you. Feeling altered.

Don't think Peretz wants me to go out, can't always do what Peretz wants.

Haven't been out to a show in a while, look forward to seeing people sort of, wonder what sort of horrible things I'll say. Feeling more & more like going into a hunker down, prepare for sudden action mode- sketchy, vicious, unforgiving. Sometimes I'm not a very nice person.