Still waking up far too early, spending a lot of time being terrified, that's basically ok.

Been having a lot of interesting reflective moments, a lot of things about myself are being made more clear, feeling like I may be able to do something about some of them for once, kind of a difficult prospect, but interesting. Finding it a lot easier to be straightforward and honest with people, I'm usually pretty ok at it, getting better at it I think, sort of relaxing. Feeling a lot more comfortable with myself, which, given the nature of my self, should probably be pretty disturbing, but isn't.

Entering some odd ecstatic states where all seems in harmony, the world a perfect work of art, etc. It's not that I don't realize pretty fully the horror of what's going on, but I find myself slipping into a sort of extreme esthetic attitude where everything manifests perfect beauty.

I love you all very much.