Sunday, October 29, 2006

Been thinking a lot about defense mechanisms lately, while I have a high aptitude for some of them, they don't really help all that much in my case & I often have to try to deal with things head on. That doesn't always work out so well, either. Mostly, it works out better than it used to & I can keep on slogging along with very short-lived collapses from time to time. Finding myself in the same situations again and again produces a sense of the uncanny, sure, but also some sense of comfort, if a little cold. I mostly know how to act to keep myself moving, anyway.

It's a chilly, windy day, just went out for a walk by myself in it, was questioned by a woman confused by the time change, sat on some benches, bought some cigarettes. Feeling a little sorry I got all my weekend work out of the way yesterday as I could really use something productive to do. Have a show to play in Holyoke later, lots of dead time between then & now, will try to fill it with something, not always easy living posthumously.

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