A major problem with maintaining two sets of behavioral standards, one for myself and one for others, is my frequent inability to distinguish between myself and others. I don't think this is anything especially peculiar to me, but I do think a certain obsessiveness with regard to myself intensifies the effect. Essentially, a long time ago, more or less as a mechanism for coping with destructive urges arising from my extreme hatred of certain aspects of the world, I embarked on a program of systematic self-negation with the aim of preserving everything else. An unfortunate consequence of this, given the extreme porousness of my concept of self (which porousness makes it not really a concept at all, actual concepts divide the world into what is and what is not something) is that I have a tendency to hurt those closest to me, mistaking them for myself. It would be nice if I could stop doing this.