Helped T sort & clean for a while, then she went off to visit her brother & sister-in-law with her parents. Read The Worm Ouroboros some, then put on Joy Division & started doing dishes, did that until the drying rack was full, now lying on couch crying.

Confused & hurt, no getting around it. Also worried sick. Seem to have gotten to a point where these things are more or less manageable, certainly a lot more functional than I was a couple of months ago. Don't expect these things to get any better than this really, anyway, as I say, it's manageable. Suppose I might stop being worried, but the most likely cause of that isn't really something I want to dwell on.

A lot of housework ahead, helping T get ready to move, rearranging & tidying once she's gone. Weird to think about the place having little enough stuff in it that most might get put tidily away, we both have an awful lot of stuff. Anyway, I imagine once that's all done, the equinox will be right around the corner, probably best to keep busy till then as it scares the shit out of me.

Writing, cleaning, working, repeat until September 23rd. That's the plan pretty much. No plan after that, up for whatever.