If for some reason this is nonobvious, a while ago I was presented with a variety of classic double binds with "I hate you, leave me alone"/"Care about me more than anything" being the leading one. Obviously this sort of thing is tough to deal with if you're not willing or able to just not give a shit. Pretty OK with leaving her alone, her hating me & caring about her more than anything at this point. Not a thing I can do besides care, so that's pretty paltry, that's how she wants it, that's fine. Nothing a kid could figure out, lucky for me I'm not one.

The fact is, as it turns out, I can take care of myself if necessary, even without much motivation to do so. Not remotely sure she can, in the long run, anyway, that's pretty worrisome, did all I could about that.

Oh, hell.