I'm feeling very strange, I am pretty strange I guess. I've found life to be pretty difficult and it's made me that way.

I was trying desperately hard to help two of my closest friends, as a result they won't speak to me, not as surprising as it sounds- the sorts of things I was doing were the sorts of things that lead to people not speaking to you, still feels funny. I still think my understanding of the situation was basically correct, so I'm terribly afraid for them, maybe someone else can help them, don't see them helping themselves enough, hope I'm wrong about that, probably not, might be wrong enough for things to be basically OK, just not up to insane perfectionistic standards. If I thought I were the only person involved with standards like that, I'd worry a lot less.

Oh, hell.

Feeling pretty wretched, just physically, just physically- the stuff I'm talking about, I really did my best.