Out on walk with P just now he hurt his paw, let out a high anguished yelp, recovered quickly but got me thinking of the time back in February when we came in from a particularly cold night and he kept limping & whimpering. Stupidly tried calling estranged beloved in search of advice, she knows more about dog health than I do, is of a more empirical turn of mind generally. Of course she didn't answer or call back, can't say I blame her, but it made me terribly upset that her mask of cruel indifference extended to my dog, hurt me more than anything else she did, I think. Sheer animal pain.

Going to clean the kitchen now.