Loving somebody very much, desperately wanting her to be OK and happy and having her decide that something she needed to be OK and happy was to have nothing at all to do with me, well, it's been very difficult and painful. Doesn't mean I don't want her to be OK and happy, far from it. Hope she is, thinking she might be makes it a lot easier to deal with all the pain & stuff, doesn't make it go away.

Feel funny, chills, terribly sad.

Peretz just came to sit with me.