Wow, that was more panic attacks than I've had in a very long time in the space of two and a half weeks, can't remember the last time it was so bad. Oh, wait, yes, I can.

Still waking with a shot just before six, but feeling basically groovy.  Maybe I've just become an old man suddenly, hair hasn't turned shocking white or anything, but where's the breakfast bar?

Much less provocation than the last incident, but apparently change in work schedule, new person I really enjoy playing music with and suicide within my circle of acquaintance is not the cocktail for me.  Anyway, have myself back in check, you'd think we'd have reached stalemate by now, but my moves keep finding ways to get weirder.  Don't seemed to have caused anyone any permanent damage, side benefit of improving global information state as usual, still do lose track of the fact that people who aren't me aren't necessarily dreaming of perfect interpersonal transparency.

Sigh.

Went to what I think is very likely to be Peretz's last routine vet visit yesterday.  Awaiting the results of the geriatric blood work. Will it be poor kidney function, overactive adrenal gland, diabetes?  A lot of stuff has been making me want to cry lately, but nothing as much as this.  He's a good dog.

Anyway, still a super bouncy ball but they've stopped shaking my box for the moment.