Coming out of a long, long fog. It's been a slow emergence, over the past couple of years, really. Anyway, I'm out and having a fresh look around.
I'm noticing patterns in my life of encountering incomprehensible horror, finding something to focus on and looking for an escape route. When I was a kid it was: Hiroshima, Holocaust, Pol Pot, Reagan; mathematics; science fiction. Then it was: deeply troubled friends and girlfriends; philosophy; experimental music. After that: my own anxiety disorder; computer systems; performance art. Right now I'm lead planner on the transition and turnaround of two fairly major organizations, one a food co-op, the other a contemporary arts org. I'm waking up too early to think about planning, it's getting better all the time and I hope to be sleeping better soon. Not sure of my escape route but hoping it involves more cooking and swimming.
Everything piles up, nothing ever goes away. I have favored approaches: DIY, open source, cooperation. So some of the piles are falling in place, maybe even nicely. I have too many projects with detailed planning; I'm negotiating, refining and assessing delegation and investment options. I have a new little dog who squeaks and paces and jumps on my computer as I type. Maybe my whole family is going to move here. Maybe far off friends will come as well.
Everything's a mess, it's all beautiful and real.