Maine family vacation, synthesizers, lobster stew, foggy mountaintop, long nap, satellite Internet. These remarks come to you via outer space, very slowly.

Peretz is confused by the whole upstairs/downstairs business. New stairs are scary stairs, poor blind pup.

My dad is already ill, vacation doesn't agree apparently.

Drowning in molasses, slow, sickly sweet. Friday can't come soon enough.

Planned work for fall has evaporated, more running about, less peaceful home-bound typing for me, I guess.

Really very tired, looking at database schemata not really working out. Instead chatting with pal about songs of unrequited love and heartbreak. The areas of my expertise & c.

Need to start reading or at least watching movies with more regularity, keep skip skipping about like a waterbug.

Really lack adequate resources to cope with feeling sad, crap.

Late night last night, went with parents to visit their now New England dwelling former colleagues, nice, hot, donburi, gelato, got home late, tired, tired equals sad.

Absent-mindedly forgot it was Tuesday so didn't pick up farm share until after midnight, who knows when I'll cook any of it.  If absence makes the heart grow fonder, I must be the sweetest guy in town.

Folks are here visiting, it's nice.  I've scratched a bug bite on my foot to the point that it quite hurts, don't remember doing that.

Going to be another scorcher.  Quick trip to Hanover later.

Gets tiresome being this affectionate, or maybe it's just the sleep deprivation.

Nice mountaintop party, quite a crowd, big explosions, enormous slip n slide, etc. Pretty scaled up, all in all.

I am unnecessarily cryptic, but necessarily so also, bit hard to sort out.  Not really worth the effort.

Before party, went & saw some nice art.

Feeling a bit like I've woken from a five year sleep.  Everything confuses me.  So much is like a strange or bad dream, to wake up to that is fundamentally pretty confusing.

So that's two five year sleeps now, roughly a quarter of my life, half my adult life, spent in a manner quite alien to how I normally am, but if it's half the time, well, it's basically two aliens facing each other over a table and normal really doesn't come in to it.

At least I always love music, just got home from hearing some nice music.

Peretz doesn't bump into things nearly as much as one might expect given the chaos that is our home, but he has gotten very tentative about jumping down from the couch.

Really nice music outside last night at the Book Mill, more outside music.

Awaiting results of further blood work.

Feeling much like I've been beaten with the heavy sticks, but basically cheerful and alert.

Peretz continues with the nasty pills, we are to confirm that his water consumption has fallen below 2 liters/day before he gets to stop, average dog water consumption monitoring program being instituted on the assumption that Pickles consumes at a normal rate.  I am somewhat uncomfortable with this assumption.

Weird little advisory trip to a coop just north of the Jersey border tomorrow, may visit relatives, purchase bagels, etc.

Overdid it a bit last night & knee is more sore than it has any need to be. Went over to friends' house, set up some synths, made 48 steamed buns, 32 with smoked pork and relish, 16 with banana, almond butter and cream cheese, then rushed down to band practice, knee stiffening to the point of discomfort at roughly 25 minute intervals.  Got home too tired to cope.

Back to work from pain vacation today, not dreading it as much as I expected.

Chris is coming up to play drums with us on a short tour at the beginning of August, really delighted. Frothy fucking Shakes.

Sometimes I start feeling like I'm really not too badly fucked up, then I detach a bit and observe my behavior more closely and, yeah, I'm really badly fucked up.

Up stupid early, happening a lot lately.

Peretz's blindness making him remind me of sweet, blind greyhound I used to know, similar sweet-tempered timidity in his movements.  The other day he walked directly through the legs of one of the small kitchen stools as though it wasn't there.  He's magical.

Beach trip planned for later, laundry first.  Got a haircut.

Knee still hurts, but is basically functional. Coffee's ready.

Stiff, hurty, leg elevated.

Feeling annoyed with the empathetic layers of my personality, they are a pain in the ass. Clear headed and compassionate is often put forward as a sort of ideal, it is a big pain in the ass.

Ah, Peretz just stopped by for a visit, he is a good dog.

Knee elevated, managed to mislay my snapped wedding band, L. found it again, taking it in for repair on her way out.

A human can resist any pain. Our test is crisis and observation.

Excessively long tubing trip yesterday, wrenched the crap out of my left knee on slippy rocks, elevating and icing knee, all work cancelled.

Peretz's meds seem to be having an effect, need to arrange yet another vet visit for him today knee or no knee.

L. is off for weekend upstate social butterflying in a bit, painful solitary days in store for me, like old times.

Visit with my new pal Lisa at the Salem Willows yesterday make me strangely more optimistic about folks figuring really horrible shit out and getting on with things.  Also, skee ball, always a delight.

Feeling very tired despite basically sufficient sleep, have a bunch to get done this week, there are other things I'd actually like to be doing, blech.

Peretz hasn't had any dramatic reactions to his new meds, fingers crossed.

Keeping some fairly dire sadness more or less at bay with the assistance of an overly complex multidimensional array of signs. Think I may additionally need to cancel the work I have scheduled for the afternoon again and go somewhere new and different later.

Peretz's pill regimen seems to be proceeding without notable incident.

There's a ghost in the hills awaiting the extravagant party.