Ate some apples, thinking about summer fruits.

Getting ready for bed, feeling like I'd like to sleep for a long, long time.

Nice crescent moon.

Thinking, feeling, stupid, stupid, stupid. Decrease the frequency, increase the amplitude.

Acetone fumes wafting through the server room today, feel fortunate for the stuffy nose.

Woke early, sneezing violently. Peretz is sick of it.

About to go to Easthampton to deliver ink cartridges, check on mail configs, get lunch, etc.

Just sayin'.

Not quite getting the hang of this Monday thing.

Even gummi bears didn't help. Trying more yucky pod coffee now.

Spent this morning's half awake commute thinking about social functions of religions, largely.

L. just notified me that she has sent used dog blankets ahead of us to Nashville in hope that they would ease territorial feelings as suggested by experts.

Plan for dinner: Polish plate.

Woke to thunderstorm, fed dogs, made matzoh brei.

Could use a few more days of sleep, I think.

Rain's stopped for now.

Emerging slowly from sickly fog, did some work, some grocery shopping.

Damp day, feeling cold. Nap, maybe.

Just did taxes, this year we get cash back from the war machine- thanks, Frank.

Feeling a bit less ill, still tiring easily.

Feeling blurry, kept waking in the night coughing violently, muscle cramps in neck & shoulder.

Feeling like I should be doing something to improve the state of the world.

Feeling like going home & having some nice lunch.

Sometimes feeble, sometimes lively. Drifting back into the feeble, tight chest, neck hurts.

Lovely local lamb burger at the Wagon Wheel earlier, happy little lamb. Bit heavy on the tapenade.

Restocked on pale dry ginger ale. Life's little pleasures.

Intermittent coughing jags, sipping ginger ale.

Still feeling crappy, thought about getting more soup for lunch, got pizza instead.

Should read more novels.

More tea, could barely taste my dinner, lame.

Plans for evening include television & blanket.

Despite feeling pretty lousy, went last night & sang my piece to the punk rock kids, not that happy with my performance, but others seemed pleased enough. Funny sort of show for me to be at, very straight ahead punk, drunk kids fighting & hugging, etc. Not really my scene. Big Kids, the band that played last, from Brattleboro, were quite good though, hope to see them again sometime.

Didn't realize how genuinely crappy I was feeling until I hit the cold outside air, started shaking pretty violently, drive home across the mountain was a bit of a challenge.

Since then, I've been asleep or trying to sleep, mostly.

Went to Great Wall & got that noodle soup, hurrah!

Tea was nice, too.

Scratchy throat, supposed to sing tonight, want some noodle soup.

Vague intimations of coming cold, around the edges, peeking out.

L.'s on a cooking jag, last night raviolis & salad. Taco night tonight.

Made a hurried tart myself last night, ginger snap crust, lemon pie like top, pretty decent.

Head full of art theory, yuck.

So, Zuppardi's in Wilmington, really quite good, make their own sausage.

BBQ place north of town, not as good, not bad either, doesn't ruin pulled pork by stewing in sauce.

Last night, attended play about raccoon in support of Turners artspace, pretty cool, but found myself drifting off. Big week for late in the day sleepiness.

Have settled on a food tour of Wilmington, VT as the day's activity, wish us luck, will report back.

Happy Spring!

Meant to say: reality loses endlessly to aptly applied semiotics.

Thank goodness for bourbon & pale dry ginger ale.

Battlestar marathon continues, how long can those pesky humans hang on? Poor little simps.

We're lined up on the couch, Pickles, L., Peretz, me. Warm & cozy.

Shambling zombie-like through the last of the workweek. Brains! Etc., etc.

On a new scifi TV jag, go go killer robots.

Really like everything that assembles associative sets.

So tired I'm worried about falling asleep.

Funny, drifty day. L. made a really nice dinner.

How the mind wanders.

Yesterday: learned people will wear bright green to burials on St. Patrick's Day, everybody wants a Shamrock shake.

This morning: walking the dog, bits of Jesus Christ Superstar revolving in my head, saw a piece of plastic debris with Elmo on it, thought about possibilities of talking Elmo lighter. "Elmo loves fire! More! More!"

Back at work, digging out.

Good to be back from alien cultural landscape, a lot like hell, honestly. Never will understand how people fail to learn to mistrust their own resentments.

Awfully glad L. got herself out of that without being totally wrecked in the process.

Maybe we'll have time to be sad now. Bye, Pat.

Been a long few days. Just got home, unloaded the car, found that Peretz had vomited on the stairwell, cleaned that up, collapsed.

Glad to be clear of family feuds.

Would like to sleep until tomorrow, Toste & the kid are on their way, however, so it's out to dinner & a show. Also nice, don't really have the energy.

Well, if nothing else, this little trip has already provided me with a few more reasons to never, ever consider being an alcoholic.

Long night, police, etc.

Finally got sleep, got up, walked around yard with dogs, feeling a little ragged.

Happily, lovable island folk will be arriving this afternoon to make everything better.

Went & had a lovely civilized dinner with Norm, Ron, Ernie & Carmella. Grilled steak, asparagus, potatoes & onions.

Made for a nice respite, back in trenches now. Cat's gone off with L.'s dad, Patrick was here briefly, but has now disappeared to the bar round the corner, hopefully he'll get back.

Tiring this, have a bit of an upset stomach.

Slept for a long time amid the comings and goings of dogs.

In typical fashion, can't find the coffee filters.

Nice neighbor lady brought us xmas cookies.

Just rehung the bathroom door.

In Syracuse, at L.'s mom's house. Lots of chaotic dog action. L. got bitten by her mom's freaked out cat. Just transported the now calm cat to basement where food, water, litter await her. Poor little critter.

Family dynamics in full swing, pretty stressful, less so for me than for others, I'm sure.

Peretz is sitting next to me on the couch while Pickles stalks the house.

Weird upstate NY cable modem doesn't play nice with my wireless router, using the neighbors' Belkin.

Tired, sad, too much to do.

Trying to get myself combat ready. Zap, zap. Take that, awkward social situation.

L.'s mom died. Sweet, funny lady.

Cop arrived just after we got home from work to tell us so. Guess nobody had L.'s new number.

Anyway, pretty upsetting. Found myself worrying earlier about the welfare of her virtual pets. Glad we got her up & running on Facebook just the same, she sure seemed to get a kick out of it.

Watching Carefree.

Pretty cold again this morning, starting to hear the mating calls of birds.

Amazingly peaceful sleep, didn't want to get up.

Peretz is lying on my bed, stretched out, head resting to the left of his extended paws.

So tired. Wonder if I'll sleep.

Thinking about Bruno Latour.

Last night, L. made lovely roast chicken & asparagus & noodles, I made some beignets for dessert.

Wondering why the, to my mind anyway, largely irrelevant figure of reflection so dominates our image of thought or, alternately, its concept.

Could use some lunch.

Overslept, delightful.

Spent my shower time systematically confusing "Tracks of my Tears" & "Tears of a Clown", as if they needed any help with that.

Lately, as soon as my head hits the pillow I feel as though a shot of adrenaline has been administered.

Awkward phrasing, shy schoolgirl.

The combined effects of migraine & novel reading on my dreams proved to be quite something, extremely vivid, some unpleasant, some not, a lot of overscripted irrelevancies.

More generally, the effects of any substantial amount of serious reading on my perception of time & my ability to sleep are extreme enough these days to explain why I don't get much reading done. Everything condenses to a vibrating blip, think about things I'd rather not, adrenaline starts pouring forth, etc., etc.

Back at work now, unrested, foggy, eyes atwitch, playing catch up.

Foggy morning, foggy notion, wishing we were by the ocean.

Woke up around 5 this morning with a migraine, spent most of the day asleep, finally got up a while ago, made some noodle soup, cleared the walk of slush, walked the dog.

Been asleep something like 80% of the past 24 hours. After doing some work yesterday, went to Target for sheets to replace two destroyed by dogs, started feeling very tired on the way home, took a long nap. Strange.

Turns out L. already had the Atwood novel I ordered, started reading it in my few waking hours.

Working on it.

Just changed my bedside clock from 11:11 to 12:11.

Fell asleep on the couch last night without realizing I was doing so, woke cold with lots of stuff in my pockets. Divested myself of stuff in pockets, pulled a blanket over myself and went back to sleep. Was woken several times by dogs jockeying for position.

Peretz was unusually desperate to go for a walk this morning, that lost hour messes with his system.

Yesterday, ordered a postapocalyptic novel by Margaret Atwood & the first Katamari sequel, working on reforming my sensibility into one recognizably mine.

Coffee, brunch, work, repeat.

Big day for chores: laundry, banking, web site maintenance, ice removal, etc., etc.

Was also delightfully warm out.

L. made special hot dog, potato salad & asparagus lunch. She also made a very attractive red velvet cake for birthday party later.

A lucky fellow.

Should probably walk the dog before going to art opening, cold drizzle.

Dreamt last night that my old style yellow VW bug had been booted for no apparent reason while parked in the parking lot behind my condo.

Drove to work thinking about political strategy, silly.

Need a coffee, have no change for coffee machine.

There's a lot of music & art happening this weekend, wondering how much I can manage.

Working for the weekend.

Replaced the crappiest power supply I've dealt with in years this morning with another of the same crappy model, had to cut off the modular connector for the wires to the cpu fan, strip the wires, twist them together with wires dangling off the fan & cover with electrical tape, etc.

Am planning to drop the tired old man act for the evening & go to a show on a school night, at Hampshire, no less. Long haul.

Car finally got reinspected, passed, hurray! Bit of an ordeal, more for L. than me today as when I found I couldn't get the inspection done this morning (computer still down), I took her car to work & left her mine to deal with. She did so admirably, even though presented with further complications by the hateful VIC.

Took celebratory drive in car to Brattleboro for sushi & bibim bap.

Happy birthday T., Peretz.

Went & fetched my now repaired car, took it to inspection center for retest, was told it would take 45 minutes to an hour, fifteen minutes later was told to come back tomorrow as the car needed to be retested on the same computer, that that computer was currently down awaiting a part & to call in the morning to see if it could be tested then.

Ugh.

Going to do some more work.

Happy Square Root Day.

Car's still not fixed, supposedly will be done around midday, drove L.'s car to work, assuming car is fixed by then, will return in afternoon to reacquire & reinspect.

Blech.

Should've had a bagel before leaving the house.

Working from home today, car's in shop, snowstorm. Mostly been slogging through VMware instructional materials. Last video I watched lost audio sync about a third of the way through & never got it back, pretty painful.

Supposedly car will be finished some time today, seems likely as not that it won't be in time to get it reinspected & I'll need to do that in the morning, ick.

Ick, ick, ick.

On the non-ick side of things had some more of delightful layer cake from New Orleans, yum, yum.

Muffaletta accomplished.

After L. got home, took her car to do weekend work, stopped & got requisite cold cuts & cheeses on the way home. Hurray.

Been having anxiety episode all day, hip, hip.

Trying to figure out how to get myself to work, ugh.

Had some beans & rice, tasty & filling.

Hate having a fucked up car.