Sunday, August 19, 2007

Walking around Smith PhysPlant dumping area with Peretz, appropriate spot for the two of us. Add us to the total garbage disposed of by Americans, average it out, we're not even a blip. Most of what gets thrown away, as I imagine you're aware, isn't really garbage as such, one could make quite a fine living off others' leavings, many do.

Anyway, walking around Smith PhysPlant dumping area, feeling worried, thinking about being worried. I know you don't want me to be worried, I'm really sorry, it's not really voluntary, one of the more involuntary things I've ever been subjected to, actually. Suppose talking about it is voluntary, but then, so's your reading about it. Going to stop talking about it quite shortly if that's any help. Perfectly welcome to give me some reason to think you're happy & doing well, of course, can't tell you how much I'd like to be able to think that. Well, I'd like it an awful lot.

Crying again, closing my eyes, trying to stop, trying to stop.

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